Senior Year Blues

Well I've reached that time. I am now a senior in college and I stay wondering what my life is going to look like.

What am I going to do?

Is it what God wants?

I am not going to live in the US forever, right?

How do I go to Medical school and have a fun social life? Those two are impossible together obviously.

Or, am I even going to Medical school? Am I ever going to finish undergrad? Nursing? Chicago?

Then it dawned on me...how dare society think that at 18 years old I should know what I want to do in life. I wasn't even old enough to enjoy the awful taste of Vodka! Even though some of my friends and family baffle at the fact that I don't know what I want to do in life, I know they are in just as much doubt as I am. I'm just the one who openly admits it. I don't work that hard to save face.

I'm that person that looks at everything and says, "Go for it!" The problem with that is I don't know when to stop. The line between dreams and reality has become very blurred. I see potential and I work with what I got. This is a good thing, most times. It can be tiring, but I love living it. But it's a damper when it comes to decision making.

A doctor? Go for it!

A teacher? Go for it!

A anthropologist? Go for it!

I can't be all of it...so to which do I invest?

I've talked to many of my Christian leaders and they all say the same thing, and they are right. As long as I'm living a life that glorifies God, I'm living out my calling. And I'm sure what it looks like depend on me. But as you can tell, I have many dreams. It all boils down to helping people and understanding them better and hopefully it will end in God being praised.

Meh. I do know one thing. I hate dragging this on!